5 THINGS I SIMPLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NOW THAT I'M A MUM

When I had Madi, I felt like I was still on top of stuff. She was an easy kid, super chill and I was still able to get ready in the mornings, cook decent meals and made sure the house was tidy every single night before bed, purely because I had an ample amount of time to do so.

Now that I'm a mother to 2 (very adorable) cyclonic and drill sergeant children who (love each other very much) fight like two drunk girls who want the same podium at Birdees on a Saturday night, I've started to realise that there is so much that I really don't give a shit about because I'm far too busy making sure that either of them end up with a black eye or a broken paw patrol car.

So here are the 5 things I simple don't give a shit about anymore:

1. Taking the rubbish out until it's rubbish day
I live in apartment and we live up 4 flights of stairs, so to get down each time we fill a bag of rubbish is just a pain in the ass. Somehow the 3 of us manage to fill several per day, and this could purely be for the fact that I make so many delicious meals that my (beautiful) children don't eat. So yes, these bags pile up on the bench until I care enough to take it down. 
And yes, I know I go up and down these stairs several times a day and could take them down with me but I simply can't be fucked.

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2. Sorting MY clothes
I do washing every second day of the week, because I have an underpants stealing gnome living in my bedroom. I will always sort the kids clothes, because I like to know how much of their stuff has ended up at their dads or their granny's house, but my clothes end up building into a huge gigantic mound that I have to dig through every morning so I have fresh underwear, fresh activewear (when I say fresh I mean I wear the same pair of tights 7 days a week because I've worn them in and they're the comfiest). The thought of how many hours it will take me to get through my shit sends shivers down my spine, hence why I don't do it.

3. Dishes
Really, how the fuck can 3 people make so many dishes? Then take into consideration that the kids are at daycare 3 days of the week and also stay at their dads between that too! So really it's completely my fault, I have no idea how I do it and therefore I resent having to empty the sink every single bloody day. Yes I have a dishwasher but I simply can't be fucked unloading and reloading it either. 

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4. Going to Swanky Events
Let's be honest, the idea of wearing a nice dress and high heels really doesn't appeal to me. I'm an activewear wearing, jeans and tshirt repping laid back zero fucks given mother. I wear clothes for comfort and for no other reason. I don't know fashion, I don't know makeup and I don't know hair. I don't know how to do my hair nicely, I have nailed the whole curling my hair because I have a mullet and most of the time if I can't wear my pluggers, I probably won't come. Unless you're shouting a meal and I'll consider it.

5. What Clothes The Kids Wear
I used to want to dress the kids nicely every day, but that was until they formed their own opinions and starting to either take the clothes of that I'd dressed them in or scream at me and make me chase them around the house. Madi has a very unique sense of style (which means she'll chuck on her dress with a t-shirt and her shitty daycare runners) and Max will use every ounce of his own effort to make sure that the awesome outfit you've just dressed him is covered in yoghurt, dirt, strawberries and somehow he'll find tyre oil, within minutes. So yes, I've simply stopped giving a shit about what they wear coz they'll probably fuck it up within a very short period of time anyway. Let's just say, I let them express their own sense of style. It's called creativity.

I'm sure there are more things I simply don't give a shit about but if they haven't popped into my head it's probably coz I don't give a shit. I make time for what's important, so there's my reasoning behind all of these things that I cannot be fucked with. 

And apparently it was full moon last night, so I'm writing this after 2 hours sleep last night and my hairdresser cancelling on me today.

Lauren
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