You know when you were young & went out on the weekends, got hella pissed just to wake up the next day, look at your bank balance & say "oh fuck" - well now that I'm a fully fledged adult, I feel like I still have those type of weekends - just in a completely different way.

Since Max was born, I haven't had a paycheck. It has taken nearly 3 months to get my parental leave paid  so I've been learnt how to budget in that time like one of those crazy women from 'Extreme Cheapskates'. I am super proud of my budgeting skills now. 

Lately I have found myself avoiding bills when they come in & the only way that I pay them is when I wake up at a ridiculous hour of the day or night in an extremely motivated mood (This is my drunk), I think to myself 'Oh, if I pay all the bills then I'll feel really really good about myself' (My version of getting money out of the ATM over and over again when pissed), and then looking at my bank account afterwards all depressed (my hangover). 

Before I fell pregnant with Madi, I was absolutely shithouse when it came to money. I got my first job at 14 years and 9 months, spent every cent that I made no  matter how much my folks told me to save it. YOLO. I kept that same habit up until the age of 22. I got credit cards and used to put them behind the bar, I'd go shopping on my days off, I'd buy brand name groceries and not once did I really give a shit about the bills. I guess this was why my stupid young ass had to go bankrupt at the ripe young age of 22. Don't worry, I certainly learnt my lesson THE HARD WAY.

Now that I'm no longer a dickhead, I always find myself wishing that I'd had kids younger so I had snapped out of that horrible phase but since I can't change the past, I can certainly pave myself a good financial future!

Contrary to what some may think, this blog is not paid for. I have been paid for Instagram once and I've been relying on my parental leave to help pay the bills and buy the groceries. So no, not every instgrammer is like Essena O'Niell where they get paid ridiculous amounts of money for their instagram posts - that is not real life. I blog because I want to, I instagram because I want to. I'll have to go back to work once my parental leave finishes and the though of that actually makes me cry. I'm not joking, I've cried about it twice in the last 3 days because I don't want to leave my babies. 

Money is a pain in the ass but unfortunately it exists. What makes me work harder everyday is my kids, my determination and the drug addict screaming family that lives down the road that scares the living daylights out of me because I don't want to end up like them. 

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MotherhoodLauren Patterson