I completely underestimated how hard it would be to look after 2 kids. 
Even though Madi is at kindy today, silly me thought that since it was just Max & I at home, that it would be easy as piss to get some chores done - well wasn't I a dickhead to think that!

My kids are 3 years apart - an excellent age gap, however I think that my baby skills are a bit rusty after having such an independent toddler for a while now. Since Madi can go to the toilet herself, she can feed herself, she talks & can entertain herself, mothering got a whole lot easier until Max was born. 

It is normal for me to change my clothes 3-4 times a day now, just like I have to change Max. Being covered in yellow lumpy shit, being violently puked on, doing everything one handed, filling up multiple washing baskets & forgetting to take a piss are all normal everyday things for me at the moment. I completely forgot what looking after a newborn is like - and now I'm definitely feeling it. So far today I have changed 3 very shitty nappies & now I am sitting in my office chair absolutely covered in white lumpy baby vomit because after cleaning Max up, I honestly cannot be assed to clean myself considering it might happen again & I don't have any clean trackies at the moment. 

I've only cried once since having Max. That's not to say that I haven't been overwhelmed with my new life, but I'm certainly handling it a lot better than I ever imagined. I've started to learn how to accept offers of help and even though that's very unlike me as I am such a stubborn bitch when it comes to accepting help, I'm definitely not one to knock back a cooked meal or a family member taking Madi to the park for an hour anymore. I now know that I'm not superwoman & it is OK to have help. 

My idea off success at the moment is no longer anything to do with academics or how much money Drew & I have, it's getting both kids to sleep at exactly the same time.

I have so much work, study & house work backed up to do that today I just looked at my list of everything to do & said "oh fuck me". That seems to be something I say in my head quite regularly. The never ending washing piles are building on a daily basis but living in a house that isn't anywhere near my definition of tidy is really testing my mild case of OCD. I can't relax until my house is tidy & right now I probably need a solid couple of hours to be able to complete every chore. 

After a few hours of feeding Max every 10 minutes, 2 nappy changes & a mofo of a vomit, Max is finally asleep. He bloody should be after emptying his entire morning's milk intake all over both of us. Just to add to my already delightful stench, I forgot to put breast pads in my bra & when I fed Max, my opposite breast got a stiffy & leaked half a litre of milk down my shirt. I'm such a newb.

I love being a mother of 2, even though I am severely sleep deprived, I stink like ass & my house looks like a homeless person broke in & started squatting in it but hey, it's OK - my kids are still alive, & somehow I am too. 

I'm only 2 weeks in now - I feel like Max has been here for months! But I do just love staring at him & Madi when they're asleep. They're such beautiful kids & I wouldn't change my life for any amount of money. 

I'm going to go and have a shower now.

MotherhoodLauren Patterson