Max Charles Hunter
Born 12.10pm on the 11th August 2015
Weighing 8 pound 8 ounces (3.858kg)

I woke up at 12.06am on the 11th of August feeling like I needed to poop. It wasn't poop.

With contractions 3 minutes apart, it was GO TIME.

On the drive to the hospital, Drew made sure to check to see if I needed anything from McDonald's, making reference to a family joke about me needing a McHappy meal while in labour. I never realised how many bumps are on Wynnum Rd. It was fucking excrutiating.

This is exactly how it happened when Madi was born. It's crazy!

By the time I got to the hospital I was 4cm dilated & in a tremendous amount of pain, but the lucky thing about getting there so early this time around was that I had every option under the sun when it came pain relief.

I had Madi naturally, so I got to feel EVERYTHING.

This time, I started with gas.

I sucked that shit up like it was oxygen, but it didn't relieve any pain, it just made me high.

So I tried morphine.

I just got sleepy, but the contractions were absolutely killing me.

So I reluctantly chose an epidural...


Luckily I opted for it, because I was in labour for the next 11 or so hours.

The pushing part? Well that took 3 contractions.

Max needed some help coming out, so the doctor threatened me with a C-section if I couldn't push him out in 3 contractions, and I took that as a challenge.

2 contractions later... Max was born.

I remember just bursting into tears once Max was placed on my chest.

He didn't want boob, he just wanted a mummy cuddle.

The most beautiful little boy that I've ever laid eyes on & he was mine.

Life became even more amazing from that moment on.

After a short cuddle, Max was taken off to have a canular put in his arm because I had developed a temperature nearing the end of labour. The poor bugger. I was glad that Drew was there with him because I would have cried like a little bitch watching my little man have a needle inserted into him 5 minutes after being born! (By the way, that's what the splint was for on his arm for those who asked in the photos!)

While Max was with Drew, I was being stitched up. It took about an hour so I'm assuming that I literally ripped myself a new bumhole while pushing Max out. I haven't been able to sit down properly since so I am pretty sure that I'm right when I say that. I also have to make sure that I don't fart when I sneeze because that could actually be disastrous.

The family piled in once the stitches were done & I was put into the shower where my brother-in-law got a glorious glimpse of me absolutely butt naked in the shower. For someone who has a weak stomach, he handled the view pretty well.

Life now?

I love being a mummy of two.

It is certainly going to be alot more challenging that I ever expected, but with enough coffee, Selling Houses Australia & cuddles from Drew, I should be ok.

Drew goes back to work tomorrow, so I am shitting bricks (very uncomfortably because of my stitches) that I will just cry when the reality hits. 

Madi is such an amazing big sister, but a very hands on one at that!

She loves patting Max & always offers him some of her food. It's gorgeous to watch.

I'm hoping that I'll be better at this mum thing than I give myself credit for.

I'm sure I'll blog about it either way.

I'm already getting a taste of what life is going to be like for now while I get used to having a newborn & a toddler.

This morning I ate Madi's crusts of her toast for brekky.

Then I had a shower at 11am.

I polished off a full bag of Matlesers in 5 minutes.

Then I ate lunch at 4.15pm.

I have washing everywhere, I don't think I have any clean clothes left because they're either covered in milk or baby vomit.

My bra size is currently a 12F although I could go to a 12G.

I am a list maker, a clean freak & generally keep myself well presented...

That shit has flown out the window for now.

Bring on the sporadic bathing routines, living in trackies & milk soaked bras, granny undies & shit all over the house for the next few weeks.

The fun has only just begun.

But who cares when your newborn is this friggin' gorgeous!

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MotherhoodLauren Patterson