I lost my shit today. Actually, I do most Mondays. It's not that I don't like Mondays, because I don't have to go to your traditional job, but for anyone sitting at Campos Coffee this morning, I'm sure that they appreciated the fact that they had to go to work. My sincerest apologies for my screaming child who's currently getting his molars, normally a babycino accompanied by a marshmallow keeps him pretty happy, just not today.

Mondays are that day where I feel like I need to get organised for the rest of the week, and while I'm running my hands through my hair in frustration that I actually get sweet fuck all done on this day of the week, I always happen to scroll through an IG feed full of women who seem to have their shit together while looking flawless and decked head to toe in matching activewear that hasn't had their toddlers breakfast smeared all over it. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm about to start scotch guarding my clothes because mess is inevitable. The thing is, that one scroll through IG will do one of two things; I'll see a photo that will snap me out of my funk and push me to just stay up a little later that night to get shit done, OR it will make me think that I'm an absolute failure who can't handle motherhood because my kids fight over stupid shit that doesn't even make sense and I feel like a crazy woman. 

My kids are GREAT, they are well mannered, majority of the time they're well behaved and as hard as I try, well presented (in a well put together outfit compliments of K-Mart). Today however, they decided to act like wild animals, arguing over an orange pencil, with Max using his usual method of defence - hitting. Hitting is the new biting. I sat there, unable to console my children because I was waiting to have a meeting, so we couldn't leave. This meeting went from serious conversation  one minute to me saying "Sorry guys, this is when I start craving a wine" - and it was 9.30am. To be honest I don't even really like wine, but when I'm close to losing my shit, it's more easily accessible than a deep stretch hot yoga class. 

Whenever I see a mother who looks like they could break down at any second, I smile at them. I smile at them and send them a subliminal message that reads "Babe, I totally feel you", in hope that they don't feel so alone. If they want to throw their shit to the ground while their children scream and they want to yell every curse word known to man in the middle of the street, all to them. Fuck, I'll stand right there with them and do it too. 

I'll be straight up, I took a nap today. I got bugger all sleep last night, so I deserved it. Mind you, I laid down with Max right next to be, staring at my face and every time I closed my eyes he said "MUMMY!" so I'd open them again, and this continued for an amount of time until I had no control over my energy levels and I dozed off, to which he joined his sister and watched a movie while I kipped for about 15 odd minutes. It was fantastic. 

To the mum who had a day like me, who wanted to swear at the top of their lungs but didn't because their kids would copy every word they say and then tell their daddy and then you end up getting in trouble because you said fuck in front of your young children, I salute you. 
To the mum who had a wine after cooking dinner, bathing the kids, doing the dishes and tidying up, I hope you enjoyed that glass. 
To the mum who got to yoga today and is totally zen right now, namaste to you.
To the mum that cried today because it all got too much, you've got this, you're amazing and there's zillions of mums who cried right with you.
To the mum who got a day of bliss because their children were angels sent from heaven, how fucking awesome do you feel right now? That's awesome.

And to my sister and her partner for bringing over a bottle of Sav for me when I told them I'd had a tough day, thank you. That one half glass of wine really hit the spot. 

You know, after that day that I lost my shit, I got to cuddle both my babies to sleep, and that was fucking awesome too. Max even let me sing him a lullaby, I haven't done that since he was a newborn. So yes, it does get better. #grateful #blessed


Happy Monday + Namaste.